The Small Things

What are the small things you do that make your life feel easier? Do you set the coffee the night before, so you don’t have to think about it in the morning? Perhaps you schedule your meetings around different reoccurring events. Maybe you meal prep. We all do small things that in our head maybe feel like getting ahead or even winning. For sure I always feel like a winner when I wake up and my clothes are laid out for the day. Or when my inbox has zero items in it – now that is luxury. What if you could do some things like that more specific to your mental health? Coping skills have this air to them that you use them when you need them. The reality is coping skills are meant to be done regularly, even when you don’t think you need them. The reason? It creates a habit so that on your bad days you have already done the small things to set you up for success.

If you identify going for a walk as a coping skill for your depression, you cannot wait until you're depressed to use that skill. If you wait and the depression is getting to you, there is limited likelihood that you are going to get up and go for that walk. However, if for a few weeks prior, you have been going for a short daily walk, then you have developed muscle memory. You just set yourself up for way more success when that depression does hit.

Here’s the homework. Develop (with your therapist, if you like!) a coping skills tool box. Have a variety of them. I like to label them green, yellow, and red coping skills. The green ones can be used daily – the small things that set you up for success – such as going for a walk or drinking enough water. The yellow ones are more intense and to be used when you notice that symptoms are starting to worsen, such as reaching out to your support system, maybe sneaking in a couple of extra sessions with your therapist. The red ones are to be used to help get us back to baseline. This can range from staying with a member of your support system, asking your doctor about med adjustments, considering a higher level of care, or adjusting your daily routine to allow for better coping skills throughout the day. Maybe when you are at green you only need one or two coping skills a day. At red? Maybe see if you can do a coping skill every couple of hours or more. Most importantly – let others know about your system and the warning signs that indicate you have moved from green to one of the other colors. This allows them to support you and remind you of the skills in your toolbox.